I’m looking through my social feeds, like the answer to the mysteries of life are there for the taking. I’m reading books, even though I’m not in the mood. Flicking through catalogues – perusing the latest Kmart goodies, because a girl’s gotta dream.
I would binge watch something, but I’m not in the right head space for commitment and follow through.
I've been writing this blog post for a week!
It didn’t start out like this.
In fact, this is the 7th topic of conversation I have started up with myself – I just keep losing interest.
And if I’m not interested, what chance do I stand with my readers?
It all started a couple of weeks back....
I was feeling strangely inspired and started to write. And write and write...
5734 words later, I think I have the beginning of something exciting.
And then writer’s block took hold and now I’m here, organizing sock drawers and filing away old paperwork. My words have dried up and I’m a little lost.
There is a wider issue at play – there always is.
Things are rarely as they appear.
I need a job.
There, I said it!
My boy is 2 now, and it’s time I got back in the game. The sidelines are no place for me, but the thing about the sidelines is, you start to feel unwanted, as you pace the boundary, waiting for some game time.
My confidence is low. I tried to rewrite my resume a few days back and ended up reworking my spice cupboard. All this procrastination is great for my house!
Not so great for my resume.
There is a thing that happens when you trade in your staff card, for the motherhood gig. Identity is lost. Goals are shifted. Old dreams are replaced with new dreams. Selfishness becomes a dirty word. Your value is determined by snuggles and story time.
I am a mother of two, and I have forgotten how to be anything else.
With my first child, I went back to work after a year. I worked part time in a children’s clothing store – Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. It was fine. I made friends and I was part of a team. It gave me some much-needed funds and an outlet from being ‘just a mum.’
This time around is different.
It’s been 2 and a half years, since my last retail gig. I do not want to go back!
I’ve been running a couple of community papers for a long
time now. The pay is virtually non-existent, which is unfortunate, because it is everything that I am passionate about. It’s community. It’s creative. It means working from home, so I can be around for my kids.
I spend a lot of time on Seek and Linkedin – I don’t know what I am looking for! I’m bouncing around, from idea to idea, trying to find the perfect job. Is it possible that doesn’t exist? Surely, there’s a job that is "perfect" for me?
A mother of two, looking to utilise her unique set of skills, in a part time, semi-local position. Learn, grow and develop, within a wonderfully nurturing team. The pay is wonderful! We can’t wait to make you feel valued!
Only Melissa Longos need apply.
Is that too much to ask?
I have recently started to make important steps towards my ultimate goal – working for local council in some capacity. I have joined the Hobsons Bay Portfolio Advisory Committee, in arts, culture and tourism – quite the mouthful. I have also been selected to join the Williamstown Literary Festival Committee. My hope, is that by surrounding myself with the right people, I will eventually find myself exactly where I am meant to be.
In the meantime, my bookshelf is looking a little dusty – these things aren’t going to sort themselves out!