Fast-forward to 2002 and my obsessions included Dawson’s Creek, guys and music – so not a lot had changed. The other thing I noticed, from my early 20’s version of me, was my strong desire to find my purpose in life….
“At 22, I don’t feel as if my life is coming to an end. At the same time though, I do feel as if I have wasted enough time wondering about what I would like to do.
And when do you stop wondering about what you are going to do and start wondering about what you did? I’d like for there to be something in between, where I know…”
Aside from the absolute clunkiness of my writing style, it dawned on me that still, 15 years later, I’ve been wondering about what I am going to do with my life! Never mind the fact that I have had 2 kids, a pretty successful stint in fashion retail, am half way through a uni degree and am the editor of not one, but two local papers.
Where does this constant yearning for more come from? I know I am not alone. My friends and I engage in deep conversations, about what we should be doing, yearning for the ‘More to Life’ that we somehow believe lies just beyond our reach. More money, more things, more status – just more of anything, beyond bills and the rat race.
So, what if this is it?
I’ve had an epiphany and it’s a bloody good one…. ‘This’ is fine. It’s great, actually.
I love my life and it is enough!
Would I like more money? Always, but I am by no means destitute. I have a good roof over my head, I eat very well, I have clean water and semi-reliable internet access – I even have NETFLIX!
I may not have reached my full potential, but I’m not dead yet. Life is what is happening right now – it’s not some far off destination that I will arrive at someday.
I’m surrounded by people who love and support me, and I am privileged to be showing my children, how to enjoy the here and now.
I’m not saying stop setting goals. I’m simply saying, when you reach your goals, take time to revel in it a little – don’t keep shifting the goals further and further beyond reach.
And make sure your goals are your own. Don’t waste time chasing an idea, just because it’s what you think is expected of you. Success looks different to everybody.
So, release the pressure valve, and take a moment to breathe it all in. Be grateful, be happy and be free of expectations. The grass isn’t always as green as it seems on the other side and even if it is, who cares? It still needs mowing.
I’m good with my shade of green – it’s been worth the effort.